2020 Resolution Breakdown: Remodel the F Word House

Remodel the F Word House is my third New Year’s Resolution, and my house needs some serious TLC.

Because woof.

Top 5 Priorities

1) Finish the dining room.

We started updating the dining room in November 2020 — and we’ve only gotten paint on the walls, curtains hung, a new table and two of four chairs.

Not a great start for five months of work…

Plus, the table I ordered looked reddish (to match the chairs I bought separately and the bookcase) online.

This is NOT reddish.

The table is perfect in every. other. way. Height, size, shape, style… but it is markedly chocolate brown.


So, I’m going to paint it, which just means I now have to figure out what design I want, what color the legs of the table should be, what type of paint to use, how to finish it… Basically, by not sending this table back (because we needed a table), I’ve given myself another five months of work.


We also need to:

  • Reframe and hang recently purchased art.
  • Remove the salvage stickers from the chairs without damaging their very perfectness. There are approximately 700 stickers per.
  • Get more art, two more chairs, maybe a bench — I like art and people gotta sit.


2) Remodel the hall bathroom.

My toddler is on-again, off-again potty training — we’re doing… not well — and the hall bathroom is set up poorly for potty training.

It’s set up poorly for anything, really.

The sink/vanity is too big for the room, which causes a perfectly normal-sized toilet to look like someone wedged it in last minute. The bathtub/shower was installed incorrectly, and there’s a wealth of unused space behind the door.

I’ve got a lot to work with… and a lot to do.

  • Remove F word massive sink/vanity, and replace with a narrow-depth sink/vanity to maximize space and door-opening abilities.
  • Demolish the sadly installed mini tiles on the floor, level out the floor (barf) and retile.
  • Paint it because we’re all very tired of Lion’s Mane Beige.
  • Hang all my buggo pictures. Yes, the bathroom will be filled with bugs. Art bugs.
  • Ignore the bathtub/shower for another year because, looking at the cost of that, woof.
Creepy crawlies will be the main theme of this bathroom. Guests, please enjoy.

3) Paint the very-small-why-haven’t-I-done-it-yet hallway. (Hint: It’s because I’m lazy.)

4) Paint the downstairs bedrooms.

One is an office/catch-all room, and the other’s my son’s room. Prairie Sage isn’t going to look good with Creamy Mushroom (the color I’ve selected for MOST of the house).

We also have a bit more work than painting in the hall bathroom, hall and downstairs bed rooms…

Some lunatic used latex paint on the oak trim, doors, cabinets, etc. Latex paint that is now peeling in full force to show off layers and layers and layers of other latex paint beneath it.

Seriously, people. Why?

We’re going to strip every last inch and layer of it and repaint — we can’t save the wood — with NON-LATEX PAINT. For the love.

This is going to take the bulk of a decade to complete.

5) Do… something? …in the living room.

  • Repaint, of course. Creamy Mushroom all the way!
  • Repair the unpainted oak trim, mantle and door (which I also need to do in the dining room, crap).
  • New curtains, for sure. My TJ Maxx cheapies don’t even match.
  • Assemble the TV stand.
  • Assemble the coffee table.
  • New couch, chair and end tables eventually. Ours are dog- and toddler-worn from many decades of animals and humans.

…but I don’t know what I want the living room to look like. Does it need a theme? No. Is it going to have one? Most definitely.

The dining room is bronze, brown and gold like autumn — thanks, in part, to this great big landscape scene.

And my baby arts.

The hall bathroom is going to be filled with pictures of bugs.

Like this guy right here.

So, my living room? Spring flora, summer yellows, winter greens… haven’t decided yet.

Beyond these top priorities, we also have a laundry list of additional work that needs to be done:

  • Rip out the carpet throughout the house, and refinish the hardwood — that Susan covered with carpet. I’m calling her Susan.
  • Retile or repair the hearth (it’s UNDER the carpet), and spruce up the brick fireplace.
  • Potentially install a functioning fireplace. Potentially wait more years because chimneys… woof.
  • Update broken or burned light fixtures. (Recall that we did not have electricity in some areas of the house for a year, so some of the fixtures are just… sad.)
  • Fix the F word storm doors. Again.
  • Replace dying appliances. Largely the oven, which burns or doesn’t cook through at 375, and the dishwasher, which my son stepped on once and now it’s… sad.
  • Pick a friggin’ paint color for the upstairs bathroom!
See me not picking a paint color…

The list goes on and on and on and… we really didn’t even talk about the kitchen.

…and we’re not going to talk about the kitchen.

Remodel the F Word House might be my New Year’s Resolution for the next 10 years.

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